Quantum Nonsense


This is not growth works…!

This commission is for my long time friend Greggrth who wanted a simple, short, sweet sci-fi story about an okapi (Zebra-giraffe: look them up I’d never heard of them before now!) just getting absolutely, stupidly, ridiculously huge.

Honestly probably the largest character I’ve written about in quite a long time (Size wise). Not that I’m complaining.

So if you like the ideas of an equine outgrowing ships, black holes, and eventually the laws of physics themselves then boy did you come to the right place!

Greggrth’s Twitter



Quantum Nonsense

By Dragonien


“For the last time that's not how black holes work! That's not how anything works! You can't just put quantum in the name of things and expect to screw with the laws of physics!” Colin all but yelled in the confined space of the ship’s science lab.​​ 


His angry tirade was accompanied by a heavy slap of his thick crocodilian tell slamming the ground behind him; a gesture he only made when he was genuinely frustrated. Unfortunately for the crocodile, who didn’t even break the six-foot mark, was far from terrifying regardless of how irritated he was. Trent was used to his temper and didn't even find it annoying much less intimidating. Rather than acknowledge Colin’s words the arctic tiger took aim at the vial of growth hormones sitting on the lab table with the Quantumizer, whatever the hell that was, he had acquired from a guy in a back alley during one of their last visits to a space port.​​ 


“I mean this is pretty simple to understand. Growth hormones make someone grow. So, quantum growth hormones should make that like a billion times more effective.” Trent explained as if it were obvious. “This is really first year stuff I don't understand why you're having so much trouble with this.”


“So, you're just going to zap some chemicals with some weird device you bought from a stranger you know nothing about and then drink it?” Colin pressed.​​ 


“What? Good lord, no! What do you think I am, crazy?” Trent replied, eyes going wide in horror. Then, casually, he added. “James is gonna do it.”


A look of shock replaced most, but not all, of the irritation on the crocodile’s face as he turned to look at the okapi standing nearby. For a long moment Colin couldn't even form words; instead simply staring at the zebra-giraffe in disbelief. In response, James just smiled that eager, simple minded smile of his.


“I mean, I did always want to be taller.” He said to the unspoken question.​​ 


“Yeah bro, you're going to get so jacked!” piped in Brent: the hulking beefcake of a moose looming behind all of them. “Maybe you'll even get as big as me!”


Before any of them could argue more Trent fired the Quantumizer at the vial of chemicals and sent a ray of multi-colored light splashing across it and leaving the liquid in the vial glittering when the device’s light faded. Putting the device down Trent started to approach the vial only to have Colin step in his path.​​ 


“Even if that's how quantum things work, which it isn't, you wouldn't even know how much of that to give him!” he ranted, keeping himself Between Trent and the vial.


“I'm not an idiot. I was just going to give him one drop to start so we can figure out how much he needs and-“Trent began to reply only to stop mid-sentence and widen his eyes at the view behind Colin.​​ 


When the crocodile turned to follow the white tigers gave his eyes widened as well. The okapi was already tilting his head back with the vial pressed to his lips while Brent stood Beside him chanting “Chug chug chug!” like some college frat bro from a pre-FTL planet’s University.​​ 


The tiger and crocodile both stared at him in shock for several long moments after James finished downing the vial’s contents. When the okapi didn’t immediately explode or melt Colin nervously spoke up.


“Uh… you OK, James? Do you feel alright?”


James snorted and shook his head a bit as if trying to shake something from his head. Then he looked around before lifting various limbs and moving them back and forth experimentally as if taking stock of himself.


“I dunno… I feel kind of tingly. But, like, you know. The good tingly.” James replied. Then, after a moment, he reached back to tug the back of his spacesuit a bit to relieve a minor wedgie before adding. “Although now that I think about it my suit does feel kind of tight.”


Trent was the first one to notice it. With James standing right next to Brent it was easy to see the okapi slowly but visibly inching up in height a fraction of an inch at a time. Normally he was a few inches shorter than their resident moose brute but as they all stared at the exotic equine they saw that, within only a few seconds, they were eye to eye.​​ 


“Duuuude! It’s working!” Brent cheered excitedly while slapping the okapi on the back encouragingly. “look at you, you’re already as big… whoa… bigger than me! Well. Taller at least.”


The Moose couldn't resist raising one of his massive arms and flexing the enormous cannonball of his bicep while sucking in a breath to puff out his broad chest. He wasn't the brightest crayon in the box but he had the strength to do the​​ heavy lifting for the rest of them. As much as he seemed excited and Trent seemed smug that he had been right, Colin looked downright terrified.​​ 


“See. I told you. Quantum growth hormone. It totally works like that.” Trent bragged.​​ 


After a long moment of silence in which James had swollen to half a head taller than Brent, Colin finally spoke.​​ 


“…Trent. Think. Think really hard about what your plan was. If it’s really working like it's supposed to and he's already growing, how big is he supposed to get?”


“I dunno, really huge? I didn't do the exact math on how big you would have to be. But definitely way bigger than that black hole that's trying to pull us in.” Trent answered, unconcerned.​​ 


“So he's going to get bigger been a celestial object. Something that's at least the size of a star.” Colin asked.​​ 


“Yea, duh.” Trent affirmed


“And he’s growing right now. Inside the ship. With us.” Colin added.​​ 


Trent’s face went blank for a good two or three seconds. The others could practically hear the gears in his head turning as the obvious finally made itself known. Then his eyes went wide.​​ 


“…Oh fuck. This is bad.” Trent admitted.​​ 


“You think?!” Colin all but snarled; his tail slamming against the deck again.​​ 


“Uh… guys?” came James’ voice, drawing the attention of both the crocodile and tiger. “My suits starting to get really tight…!”


As if in response they all heard a loud tearing sound as the seams along his thighs ripped open and exposed tufts of striped fur pushing through the new openings. During their argument he had grown head and shoulders taller than even Brent! While the crocodile and tiger looked increasingly scared, Brent was absolutely ecstatic. He always had a bit of a crush on the okapi and now was unable to resist rubbing his hands across the growing equines body. While Brent clearly didn't realize the danger they were all in, Trent and Colin did. They turned to one another and began a rapid-fire debate of what to do.​​ 


“Reverse it?”


“How? There's no such thing as a shrinking hormone I can Quantumize”




“Won’t work this close to the black hole. Airlock?”


“Too far away. Look, his growth is getting faster. He'd be too big to fit by the time we got there.”


After another moment of silence between them they both spoke at the same time.​​ 


“Escape pod!”


Turning their attention back to the equine both of their worried expression grew visibly worse as they watched James’ head approach the ceiling of the science lab. Running over to flank him on either side each one grabbed one of his arms; trying not to think too hard about how his arms were now bigger around than their legs.​​ 


“James. We’ve got to go right now!” Colin exclaimed.


“We have to get you to the escape pod down the hall!” Trent added.​​ 


It took James a couple of seconds to register what they were saying. Whatever the chemical was doing to him apparently felt good enough to distract him from what was happening around him. At least that's what the blissful expression on his face and the perverse, blatant outline of a half-chubbed erection straining the front of his space suit said. Eventually, though, he seemed to catch on to their urgency if not quite understanding the situation.​​ 


Letting them pull him along, much to Brent's disappointment, they rapidly reached their first obstacle: the hatch door leading out of the science lab. James was already taller than the door, his ears now brushing the 10-foot ceiling of the science lab. Not only that but the chemical seemed to be making his muscles expand disproportionately to his height because he looked a quarter again wider than he normally was.


“Jesus, dude. Look at him. Even if he wasn't as tall as the ceiling he looks as big as Brent now.” Trent leaned around James’ back to comment.​​ 


“Less talking, more pushing!” Colin growled in reply.​​ 


Following their directions, James crouched himself down and turned sideways to squeeze his way through the door. He had to push his upper body through first and then step sideways to squeeze through. As he did the blatant outline of his crotch bulge ground against the side of the door frame and made the crocodile and tiger both blush at the shamelessly sexual moan that came from James in response.​​ 


Once they were out in the hallway they only had a couple of dozen feet and one section door to get through before they could stuff him in an escape pod and shoot the growing equine out into space. At least then he would just be outgrowing and destroying an escape pod instead of the entire ship. It helped that through the flood of endorphins that was leaving James almost drunk in bliss he was starting to recognize the precariousness of his situation.


Unfortunately, he couldn't move very fast down the hallway despite the increasingly desperate insistence of Trent and Colin. His growth was still steadily speeding up and he was already forced to hunch down almost in half to fit under the lower ceilings of the hallway. It didn't help that his suit continued to shred off of him as he outgrew it; exposing more and more bare fur much too the embarrassment of his two chaperones. By the time they made it two thirds of the way down the hallway James was forced to crash down on his hands and knees as he had grown so big he couldn't stay upright without losing his balance.​​ 


The tiger and crocodile tried not to stare too much at the twin meaty globes of muscular flesh that were his ass cheeks; each one easily bigger than even both of their hands could have covered. With it now fully exposed as the last shreds of his space suit tore off it became even more obvious how much James was hulking out. His biceps were already as big as his own head and now his thighs were as thick around as Trent was! His pecs jutted out from his chest as far as his chin did; nearly blocking his lower peripheral vision. In any other situation the two of them would have been shamelessly ogling him. Brent wasn't just kept around for heavy lifting; he was also excellent eye candy. And now, even if James had been his regular height, he easily could have matched if not exceeded Brent in strength and proportion.​​ 


“Uh… guys? Problem. I don't know if I'm going to fit through the door.” James warned nervously.​​ 


“Just squeeze your way through like you did the other door! One arm first then your upper body then just pull the rest of you through!” Colin yelled.​​ 


Neither of them could see past his bulk down the hall anymore so they didn't have a good view of exactly how tiny the door looked compared to the growing okapi. With little other option, though, James tried his best. Getting his arm and head through wasn't a problem, and he was even able to squeeze his shoulders through just barely enough that he can get his other arm through as well. The problem came when he got to his waistline. Still growing even as he crawled down the hall, his hips thighs and his muscular ass in particular were simply too wide for the door frame horizontally or vertically. First once, then twice James tried to pull himself through to no avail. The third time he shoved harder and the hallway rattled violently from the impact! The two behind him, looking increasingly worried, were about to suggest a different tactic only to be drowned out by the sharp screech of metal as James grabbed on to something on the other side and forcibly pulled himself through! The reinforced metal of the section bulkhead bent​​ outwards like someone shoving a pencil through the side of a tin can. The metal split in a half-dozen different places and spread outwards to make room for James’ prodigious ass.​​ 


Normally Colin would have completely lost it at such a wanton damage to the ship. It was a testament to how desperate they were that he didn't even bat an eye.​​ 


Finally making it to the escape pod James began shoving himself inside. Thankfully the thing was made to hold four people at once, almost a small shuttlecraft than escape pod. Even then James struggled to squeeze himself inside even when he curled up into the fetal position.


​​ Wasting no time, Trent's slammed the eject button next to the pod and watched as the hydraulic door rapidly swung down to close. Or at least, it tried to. Again, that massive ass of the okapi got in the way, pushing against the door and keeping it from closing all the way. Both Trent and Colin leapt against the door and shoved as hard as they could against it much to the grumbling complaints of the giant equine inside. With a sudden ominous crack something inside the pod broke. Thankfully, whatever broke gave James the extra couple of inches he needed to squeeze in tighter; just enough for them to get the door closed.


The moment the door was closed the interior hatch snapped shut and the pod jettisoned itself with the muffled rumble of the concussive ejection explosives. The moment the Pod was away Colin and Trent made a mad dash for the bridge and rushed to center the external cameras towards the escape pod. Just as Brent walked onto the bridge, seeming far too upbeat and excited considering their precarious situation, the cameras finally centered on the trajectory the escape pod had been launched.​​ 


They got to see it for all of three seconds before it exploded.​​ 


Unlike the violent concussive detonation of a failed engine or explosive the pod instead simply shattered apart and sent chunks of itself flying in every direction. Chunks that were rapidly sucked into the gravitational pull of the black hole. Nothing had gone wrong with the ship itself. James had just outgrown it.​​ 


All three of them stood there with wide eyes, Trent and Colin in shocked disbelief while Brent was all-but panting in excitement. James’ body had continued bulking up with his growth and now definitely would have had Brent beat even if he hadn't now been the size of a small ship. ​​ And yet his growth wasn't only still going strong but was still speeding up! Barely a few seconds after bursting from the escape pod he was bigger than their Cruiser. Seconds after that he could have held the cruiser in his hand like it were a toy! The horrifying realization that they had been literally seconds from the destruction of their ship sent shivers down the crocodile and tiger’s spines. Brent on the other hand…​​ 


“Jesus look at that beast.” The moose rumbled with obvious lust. “He’s a monster.”


When Trent spared a glance back at Brent he rolled his eyes and gave the moose a chastising look. Brent wasn't even trying to hide the fact that he was shamelessly groping himself through his suit, clearly getting turned on by the out-of-control growth of the okapi.​​ 


“Jesus Brent, really? Time and place, man.” Trent growled.​​ 


Brent ignored him, not wanting to turn his attention away from the screen as he watched his crush grow out of control. They could see James being pulled back​​ towards the black hole; him not having the luxury of a ship with overclocked engines just barely strong enough to counteract the black hole’s pull. And yet, despite that, within moments James no longer seemed to be moving away from them. The realization was terrifying when it dawned on them all: James was growing faster than the black hole was moving him…!​​ 


By now the okapi had grown so enormous that their ship wouldn't have even been a gnat to him. It would have been a miracle if he could have even seen their ship with his naked eyes! Even thousands of miles away he had grown so large that the ship’s camera was forced to pull back and reduce its magnification to keep all of the growing equine in frame. Trent and Colin could only have imagined what kind of cataclysmic event this would have been if James had been growing like this on the surface of a planet. The planet might not have even survived. When one of them idly commented such, they both heard another lustful groan coming from the moose behind them.


“Jesus, Trent… how big is he going to get?” Colin questioned worriedly.​​ 


“I have absolutely no idea.” Trent timidly replied.


The two of them were snapped out of their daze by the ship starting to shudder violently. Doing their best to ignore the increasingly loud grunts of the bulky moose jerking himself off behind them to the site of his equine crush growing out of control, the other two rushed to the engineering and navigation controls respectively.


“Engines are running hot but still tolerable!” Trent reported.


“It’s not the engines. We’re moving!” Colin replied excitedly. “James must be big enough now that with him between us and the black hole he's blocking some of its gravitational pull! At this rate we could be at a safe distance within minutes! I can’t believe I’m saying this but your nutjob of a plan is actually working.”


“Uh… Colin?” Trent called, a worrying note of concern in his voice. “We may not have minutes.”


The crocodile rounded on the tiger; mouth already open to ask what he was talking about. The question died in his throat when he saw the view screen again. Instead of a full-body view of James the entire view-screen was filled with just one of the okapi’s eyes. A quick glance confirmed their concerns: the camera was at minimum magnification. James had grown so impossibly large in just the few moments that they had looked away that literally all they could see from horizon to horizon was a single one of his eyes.​​ 


“Holy shit.” Colin whispered.​​ 


“His growth is still speeding up! He's not just growing faster than the black hole is pulling him in he's gaining on us even though we're moving away from him too! At this rate he'll literally grow over us in less than a minute!” Trent all-but yelled in panic.


“it’s going to take us at least five to get clear of the gravity field even with him dampening it!” Colin shouted back.


“Guys look at him. He’s a God. He’s a fuckin God.” Brent moaned, having given up all pretense of propriety and unzipped his suit to let him masturbate freely.​​ 


“Shut up, Brent!” the other two yelled in unison.​​ 


The two of them desperately sorted through their options, rambling back and forth to each other.​​ 


“Can we push the engines harder?”


“If we push them any harder they'll overheat and explode. Can the Shield survive the impact and let him just keep pushing us away?”


“He's literally the size of a planet right now it would be like an uncontrolled re-entry crashing head first into the ground!”


Then both of them froze as an idea struck at the same time. Both of them turned and exclaimed aloud to one another.


“The hyperdrive!”​​ 


“Assuming the stress doesn't rip us apart a micro-jump should get us a few light minutes away!” Trent exclaimed, fingers already dancing across his control panel.​​ 


“Don’t talk just do it!” Colin yelled back.​​ 


He had barely finished the last syllable before the tiger slammed his hand down on the control panel and activated the hyperdrive. All three of them were​​ abruptly flung backwards against the back of the room from the sudden, undampened inertia of hyperdrive jump. Just as quickly as they had been flung backwards they all fell to the floor as the jump ended barely a couple of second after it began.​​ 


Groaning in pain, the three of them pushed themselves up to their feet. Trent struggled his way over to his console and reactivated the view screen to get a look in the direction of the black hole. What they saw left all three of their jaws hanging open; not to mention Brent simply orgasming on the spot without even touching himself.


The view screen could still easily see James despite them having to have traveled at least two light minutes away. Forget a planet; indescribably titanic okapi was bigger than a star!


His body had continued to expand disproportionately along with his increase in overall size. His pectorals were now so massive that they were pushing up underneath his chin and completely blocking his view beneath them. If he tried to look down, he would be sticking in his muzzle directly into his pectoral cleavage! His arms were so impossibly, unrealistically massive that they couldn't even hang vertically at his sides anymore. His biceps shoved against the sides of his chest and forced his arms to hang at an almost 45-degree angle. His thighs were thicker around then his waist should have been; those too forced to stay spread at an angle by their sheer girth. Not that you could see much of them past the utterly, hilariously oversized cock and balls hanging from his waist, though. His balls each were the size of a beach ball proportional to him which means each one was bigger than a gas giant in actual scale. Over the top of them hung a dick thicker around than the monstrous equine’s entire body; jutting out in front of him in an erection that simultaneously made every man in the galaxy feel an inexplicable sense of inferiority. Even more impossible than his absurd proportions was what he held in his hand.


With one arm lifted up, fingers spread like he was palming a baseball, James held a misshapen black sphere the seem to be undulating and stretching itself unnaturally. It looked almost like it was trying to pull itself away from the impossibly titanic equine but was effectively glued to his hand. By some invisible force


“Is that?...“ Colin whispered.​​ 


“Sweet Mother of God.” Trent cursed.​​ 


“Wouldn’t you be the father of God, Trent? You did start this.” Brent corrected it in a voice that sounded almost drunk on pure arousal and awe.​​ 


James was holding, casually palming it like it were nothing more than a toy, the entire goddamned blackhole! Not only that but his mass was so enormous that ​​ his own gravitational pull that was trying to pull the black hole apart like it did to everything else! That seemed to be why it kept trying to stretch away only to rubber-band back towards him.​​ 


The bridge was dead silent for nearly a full minute. No one knew what to say or how to respond to this absurd impossibility. It was Trent that finally broke the silence.


“Told you it would work.” He proclaimed smugly.


Colin whirled on him, a dozen different curses and angry responses passing through his expression as if he couldn't settle on which one to use. Then, he visibly calmed.​​ 


“Trent… look at the sensor readout.” Colin commanded in a disturbingly calm voice.​​ 


The tiger gave him a puzzled look but did as he was told. After a few moments of typing away at his panel his ears flattened against his head.


“Oh… “


They were interrupted by a roll of thunder that shook the entire ship hard enough that the computer begin reporting a half-dozen microfractures across the hull. The ship’s warnings went unheard, though, as any alarm, siren, or spoken word inside the ship was drowned out by the overwhelming volume of a voice that had no possible way to transmit itself through the vacuum of space yet somehow did anyway.​​ 


uh guys? You still out there? What should I do with this thing?” James thundered.


The tiger and crocodile turned to each other again and, as they tended to do in dire situations, rapid-fire shot thoughts back and forth to each other.​​ 


“Can we reverse it or at least stop it?”


“I have no idea how! Honestly, I didn't even know if this was going to work. Maybe it'll wear off after a while?”


“It's still speeding up! I don't even know if we have a while. Do we just run?”


“if it doesn’t stop soon there won't be anywhere to run! The growth is clearly exponential.”


This time it wasn't the tiger or the crocodile that ended the rapid-fire exchange. It was the voice normally ignored when it came to anything other than heavy lifting. And, as laughable as it was, his idea had just as much hope of stopping what was happening than anything the other two had come up with.​​ 


“We use what time we have left to pray to our new God. Our new, Titanic, Unstoppable Beast of a God.” Brent whispered in absolute, fanatical awe.


As ridiculous as it sounded neither Trent nor Colin could come up with any better answer. They both took one more look at the sensor readout in some tiny desperate hope that maybe they had read it wrong. Sadly, it told them the exact same thing it did a few seconds ago.​​ 


James was still growing.​​ 


And it was still speeding up.​​ 

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